"Your Voice is Slow"

I lost my voice.
It has been gone for 3 days.
It is coming back.
I have been told by Erik, "Mom, your voice is Slow"
"No, Erik" as I whisper in his ear...
"My voice is gone"
So this brings me to what happens when Mom's voice goes out....
Now, imagine if you will this:
Squeaky whispers. Silent Shrills. LOUD claps. Animated Faces.
It is like plugging your nose and talking through your mouth, except you don't have a voice-PLUS it squeaks!!
So what kind of trouble can one (namely ERIK) get into when Mom can't yell...STOP! NO! DON'T!!
"Erik, Stop kicking during church. Wait! What are you doing....OUCH! WAck!"
No sound.
"Erik!!! Don't throw that toy on Granny's head off the banister!!"
Clapping as hard as I can. I am downstairs. He is up. To him, he hears NOTHING.
"Erik, You can't have a 5th piece of cake!"
As he digs in. Nope, I didn't hear mom SAY I can't have anymore.
Potty words fly out of his mouth like it he is singing a song. 
"Erik!! We DoN'T TALK LIKE THAT!!!"
Talk?!? Did someone say something. Nope. Continue.
Mud tracks all over the kitchen floor. 
"Erik, you need to clean this up"
Erik, "Mom, your voice is slow."
Now in his sisters room...WITH SCISSORS!!! 
I Yell.
"SQUEAK".
He was upset and decided to take out his frustration in cutting things in his sister's room.
Time out.
"Mom, can I get out?!"
No answer.
"MOM, can I get out?!"
No answer.
However, I did say Yes, but that was not heard.
HahhaHahhah!!! LOL! 
Reminds me of the "Malcom in the Middle" episode where the parents left Dewey in time out ALL night. LOL!!!
Now he pulls his brother's hair.
Shrieking. Squeaking.
But this is not from me.
It is from my son who's hair was pulled.
Now I want to pull my own hair!!!
It continues.
We go to the store. 
Erik runs off. 
Can I call out to him?
NO. I can't even hear myself. My voice is at a whisper.
It is a good thing my legs still work.
"Mom, your voice is slow"
LOL!!! 
Yes, My voice IS slow.
Or whatever you want to call it.
Please, take a moment of "Silence" for me.
Pun intended. ;)
Now, if you'll excuse me. He is throwing EVERYTHING down the stairs!!!
'Sound'...Loud Clapping....

Side note: 
Something I find hilarious and factual about not having a voice is: 
EVERYONE whispers BACK! 
It seriously makes me laugh. 
And then in my whisper of a voice-
I say to them, "Why are you whispering, you have a voice" :D
But Erik doesn't whisper back.
That is because my voice is slow. Not gone. 
LOL!!!!
LOL!!! 
Oh! Not to mention the looks from others.
I am sure they are thinking, 
"Why is this crazy lady doing a monkey dance and clapping REALLY loud?"
LOL!!
I LOVE this blog.
I love laughing at all the joys life brings!