Poopy Peanuts
I remember like it was yesterday.
I was downstairs sewing.
We had a jar of shelled peanuts that were almost gone.
My son (#3) had just taken a bath. All clean.
He was only wearing a diaper.
He brought over the jar of peanuts to me and wanted some.
So I opened the lid and he reached in and ate some.
I said, "Can mommy have some?"
So he reached in and fed some peanuts to me.
I smelt something.
I tasted something.
I looked at his hands...the ones he just fed me peanuts with.
And I screamed!
AHHHHHH!!!!!!
I looked at my husband (who was sitting next to me-he was at the computer).
I yelled, "HE JUST FED ME POOPY PEANUTS!!!"
In my head, I thought...
I am going to DIE!
I was thinking of how I could scrape my tongue with sandpaper and it wouldn't be enough.
I said to my husband (still in shock), "HELP ME, WHAT DO I DO?!!!"
His reply, "Just swallow them. They are already in your mouth."
Dumbfounded, I looked...stared at him and it all seemed like it was going in slow motion.
I jumped up and thought about bleaching out my mouth....
But the damage was already done.
I listened to my husband and decided to swallow.
WHY!?!
Somehow he had reached down his diaper BEFORE peanuts.
And I didn't even think in the moment that my son had fed himself poop covered peanuts.
NO.
I was totally thinking at that moment that my life was going to end.
I shuttered. UUUgggGGG!!!
Yes. It tastes EXACTLY like it smells.
Nothing good about it.
And no, I couldn't smell it before hand. It wasn't that strong.
Oh the HORROR!!
The pain.
Then the laughs that followed....
3 YEARS LATER!
When the memory of that stink and waste was no longer fresh in my mind.
You know the saying, "That tastes like crap".
Well, most likely it doesn't.
I am proof that even dog food (yes I have tried that as a kid) tastes better than poo.
3 comments:
Man, if any story will trigger a gag reflex, it's that one!
no way, that is hilarious. one time when i was little i asked my sister if she ever had "peanutty poo." pooey peanuts is way more disturbing. haha! glad you survived - melanie
Ha Ha!! Yes! Thanks! However, if I live 2 years less than I would have normally. It might be because of poopy peanuts! :)
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